Anyone of a certain age will understand what my title is referencing. If you don't, it is to a hilarious Seinfeld episode. http://youtu.be/2GMZjkNW5b8 In this episode, Jerry and George had pretended to be gay and the girl they were joking around with wound up being the reporter that was going to interview Jerry. She naturally thought they were gay and when Jerry realized that he tried to assure her that he and George were not gay. Heck, George even offered to have sex with her right then and there.
The comedy of the episode didn't come from someone thinking a heterosexual pair of male friends were gay, it didn't even come from said pair of friends trying to convince someone they aren't gay. The comedy came from them both quoting "Not that there's anything wrong with that" every time they asserted that they were not gay.
If you've seen it you understand if you haven't go buy every season of Seinfeld and watch them immediately!
I stole the phrase for my blog title because I have managed to date a few gay guys over the years, "not that there's anything wrong with that." My gaydar is finely honed today, but not so much in the past.
The first time was a set up by a junior college friend. I was already teaching school, but still in touch with some of my college friends and Amy calls and tells me she has a friend I just HAVE to meet. She tells me he is a wonderful Christian, has a good job, owns his own home, and is looking for a significant other. I was game so, I told her I'd give him a try. Ironically, when I mentioned this guy to my teacher friends a couple of them knew him and one of them told me that he was a wonderful cook and the other told me he was the neatest dresser she knew. She said he was always well dressed. At the time, I thought all of this sounded pretty good.
I agreed to meet my friend, her husband, and the guy at their church for Sunday service and then we would go out to lunch. First things first, the church service was HORRENDOUS! I was raised Baptist, attended a Presbyterian college, and visited a Methodist church for years. I had safely stayed away from all Independent Baptist churches until then. This preacher spent the entire sermon preaching against women wearing pants to church. Thankfully, I had put on a skirt and blouse that morning; but what did I normally wear to church? Yes, that's right, pants! I'm sure he talked about some other things, but by that point my blood pressure was boiling and I wasn't hearing anything else.
But eventually, church ended and we all left to go have lunch. I had imagined a nice lunch with the four of us; my friend, her husband, the set up, and me. I was sadly mistaken! The four of us went to lunch but her parents joined us, her husband's brother and sister in law joined us, and the set ups widowed mother was there too. Yes, that was more fun then a root canal while you have an ear ache and a bad back!!!
Lunch finally ended! For some unknown reason (well, I guess the reason was youth and stupidity) I agreed to follow my friend, her husband, and the set up to see my set ups house. My friend had not seen it yet. I really don't remember the set ups name so, we'll call him Grant. In a mini caravan, I followed behind my friend and her husband following behind Grant until he reached his house. He had had this house custom designed. It had doors that slid into their frames so they were completely out of the way. He had an in house vacuum that ran beneath his house and had a connection in every room. He had also chosen the interior design features. The carpet was dusty rose colored. He gave us a tour of the house and I noticed that literally the only book in his house was a Bible. The Bible's great, but you don't own any other books?! WTFudge?! He showed us his guest bedroom that was decorated with gorgeous antiques and then we went into the living room where he showed us his collection of porcelain hummingbirds.
Porcelain hummingbirds?! Porcelain hummingbirds?! Antiques?! Dusty rose carpet?! Actually concerned about vacuuming?! Oh and while I never checked out his cooking skills he was a very snazzy dresser. He had on a gorgeous gray suit with a perfect white shirt tucked in wearing a purple tie. So, what did all of this add up to? Well, by now you've guessed it! Grant may have been looking for that special someone, but he was looking at the guys! Grant was gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Of course, the story just gets funnier or sadder from here. (Depends on your point of view, I guess.) After touring Grant's wonderfully feminine home we all drove to Amy's parents' house, each in our own vehicle. We hung out there for a while. The preacher from church that morning was visiting so, I was very excited. NOT! After enough time had passed, I mentioned that I needed to be heading home. You should know that by the time I got to Amy's parents' house I was so lost on the top of Sand Mountain I thought I would never find my way back home. Amy knew I was unfamiliar with the area so she suggested that I follow Grant when he leaves to go back to his house. Once I pass his house I drive a few more miles, take a left, and head down the mountain. That should have been simple enough. Although, we basically had to drive through a maze (similar to the one in The Shining) before we got to the road that led to his house.
Now, at this point, I just wanted to leave all of these nut jobs behind. Not my friend, but definitely Grant, the preacher, and even her parents who agreed with women NOT wearing pants. Grant finally leaves, I jump in my car and head out behind him. Less than a mile down the road all I had to follow was a cloud of dust. Within 5 miles I couldn't even see his dust. Thankfully, the good Lord led me out because I have no sense of direction. Once I was safely back into my home county I was relieved and grateful that Grant was gone in a cloud of dust with a might hi ho silver I'm gay! LOL
After getting over my being pissed that Grant left me behind in Deliverance country, I realized that while he agreed to a set up he did not want to have to deal with a girl when he was actually looking for a guy. I hope Grant was finally able to come out of the redneck, backwoods, ultra conservative closet and find his true happiness.
Ironically, my experience with gay Grant would not transfer to upcoming experiences. While Grant was easier to figure out, I must admit my gaydar has been thrown off when it comes to super hot, extremely gorgeous gay guys. (Hope this guy is checking out my blog.)
The comedy of the episode didn't come from someone thinking a heterosexual pair of male friends were gay, it didn't even come from said pair of friends trying to convince someone they aren't gay. The comedy came from them both quoting "Not that there's anything wrong with that" every time they asserted that they were not gay.
If you've seen it you understand if you haven't go buy every season of Seinfeld and watch them immediately!
I stole the phrase for my blog title because I have managed to date a few gay guys over the years, "not that there's anything wrong with that." My gaydar is finely honed today, but not so much in the past.
The first time was a set up by a junior college friend. I was already teaching school, but still in touch with some of my college friends and Amy calls and tells me she has a friend I just HAVE to meet. She tells me he is a wonderful Christian, has a good job, owns his own home, and is looking for a significant other. I was game so, I told her I'd give him a try. Ironically, when I mentioned this guy to my teacher friends a couple of them knew him and one of them told me that he was a wonderful cook and the other told me he was the neatest dresser she knew. She said he was always well dressed. At the time, I thought all of this sounded pretty good.
I agreed to meet my friend, her husband, and the guy at their church for Sunday service and then we would go out to lunch. First things first, the church service was HORRENDOUS! I was raised Baptist, attended a Presbyterian college, and visited a Methodist church for years. I had safely stayed away from all Independent Baptist churches until then. This preacher spent the entire sermon preaching against women wearing pants to church. Thankfully, I had put on a skirt and blouse that morning; but what did I normally wear to church? Yes, that's right, pants! I'm sure he talked about some other things, but by that point my blood pressure was boiling and I wasn't hearing anything else.
But eventually, church ended and we all left to go have lunch. I had imagined a nice lunch with the four of us; my friend, her husband, the set up, and me. I was sadly mistaken! The four of us went to lunch but her parents joined us, her husband's brother and sister in law joined us, and the set ups widowed mother was there too. Yes, that was more fun then a root canal while you have an ear ache and a bad back!!!
Lunch finally ended! For some unknown reason (well, I guess the reason was youth and stupidity) I agreed to follow my friend, her husband, and the set up to see my set ups house. My friend had not seen it yet. I really don't remember the set ups name so, we'll call him Grant. In a mini caravan, I followed behind my friend and her husband following behind Grant until he reached his house. He had had this house custom designed. It had doors that slid into their frames so they were completely out of the way. He had an in house vacuum that ran beneath his house and had a connection in every room. He had also chosen the interior design features. The carpet was dusty rose colored. He gave us a tour of the house and I noticed that literally the only book in his house was a Bible. The Bible's great, but you don't own any other books?! WTFudge?! He showed us his guest bedroom that was decorated with gorgeous antiques and then we went into the living room where he showed us his collection of porcelain hummingbirds.
Porcelain hummingbirds?! Porcelain hummingbirds?! Antiques?! Dusty rose carpet?! Actually concerned about vacuuming?! Oh and while I never checked out his cooking skills he was a very snazzy dresser. He had on a gorgeous gray suit with a perfect white shirt tucked in wearing a purple tie. So, what did all of this add up to? Well, by now you've guessed it! Grant may have been looking for that special someone, but he was looking at the guys! Grant was gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Of course, the story just gets funnier or sadder from here. (Depends on your point of view, I guess.) After touring Grant's wonderfully feminine home we all drove to Amy's parents' house, each in our own vehicle. We hung out there for a while. The preacher from church that morning was visiting so, I was very excited. NOT! After enough time had passed, I mentioned that I needed to be heading home. You should know that by the time I got to Amy's parents' house I was so lost on the top of Sand Mountain I thought I would never find my way back home. Amy knew I was unfamiliar with the area so she suggested that I follow Grant when he leaves to go back to his house. Once I pass his house I drive a few more miles, take a left, and head down the mountain. That should have been simple enough. Although, we basically had to drive through a maze (similar to the one in The Shining) before we got to the road that led to his house.
Now, at this point, I just wanted to leave all of these nut jobs behind. Not my friend, but definitely Grant, the preacher, and even her parents who agreed with women NOT wearing pants. Grant finally leaves, I jump in my car and head out behind him. Less than a mile down the road all I had to follow was a cloud of dust. Within 5 miles I couldn't even see his dust. Thankfully, the good Lord led me out because I have no sense of direction. Once I was safely back into my home county I was relieved and grateful that Grant was gone in a cloud of dust with a might hi ho silver I'm gay! LOL
After getting over my being pissed that Grant left me behind in Deliverance country, I realized that while he agreed to a set up he did not want to have to deal with a girl when he was actually looking for a guy. I hope Grant was finally able to come out of the redneck, backwoods, ultra conservative closet and find his true happiness.
Ironically, my experience with gay Grant would not transfer to upcoming experiences. While Grant was easier to figure out, I must admit my gaydar has been thrown off when it comes to super hot, extremely gorgeous gay guys. (Hope this guy is checking out my blog.)
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