Oh wow! I am at shade 26.
Honestly, looking back now, I cannot believe I ever had a second date with this guy. Let alone many, many more dates!
Shade 26 - He tells me that he went outside one night and saw that the field behind his house was on fire. He called the fire department, they came out, and put the fire out. Then he tells me that his land butts up against the railroad line and he knew they had set fire to his land hoping to run him off. (Oddly enough, in my mind I hear this being said as if from the quote in "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou" "done R U N N O F T"!)
Shade 27 - He tells me that he hurt his back at work from climbing around where he wasn't supposed to.
Shade 28 - At this point I thought his horrible scar was from acid. This night he told me about stopping by a convenience store for gas one night. He went in to pay and saw that the cashier had horrible scars on her arms. He could tell that they were slash marks. He asked her why she cut herself and she said that her uncle had molested her and her parents didn't believe. (Yes, this is beyond horrible; but not the point of my story.) Damien then went on to tell her that he knew people who could help her. He then told me that he had volunteered with some group that worked with family members of people who had committed suicide. At this point, I am thinking how noble and also beginning to wonder why he would be involved in something like this. (But as before being about to turn 40 and still single put true blinders on my eyes and my freaking mind!)
Okay, shade 28 definitely accounts for at least five shades.
So, that brings us to Shade 33 - I drop by his house again and notice that his dog never goes inside that big cage. I asked and he said that he always sleeps on the floor and he just keeps the cage in case the dog wants to go in there.
Shade 34 - At that same time, I look through tons of pictures he has stacked all around his office area. There is a whole stack of him at some sort of rally, demonstration, I'm not really sure what it is. But there are a whole lot of other people there, mostly men, mostly white men. He sees me looking at that stack of pictures and tells me to come outside to see something. I set the pictures down and go outside.
Shade 35, 36, 37 - During this same visit to his house he tells me that he is quitting his job and applying for disability. Then he said, "I want to tell you what really happened the day I got hurt at work." He precedes to explain that he had gotten in to a fight with the co-worker he had previously pulled a knife on and the guy pushed him down a flight of stairs.
Fearing being single and 40 can only blind someone for so long. And while this story doesn't prove it, I have, let's just say, an above average IQ. My internal alarm had been going off as early as shade 12, but I optimistically kept hoping for the best.
After shades 35-37, I decided that I really needed to start looking a little more deeply into this guy.
I Googled every form of his name. I knew his email address and used the part before @ to Google. I knew his nickname. I, also, knew his birth date and address.
So, what new information did I learn from the wonderfully, magical world of Google? Check my next installment of 50 Shades to see what those unlucky 13 shades are.
Honestly, looking back now, I cannot believe I ever had a second date with this guy. Let alone many, many more dates!
Shade 26 - He tells me that he went outside one night and saw that the field behind his house was on fire. He called the fire department, they came out, and put the fire out. Then he tells me that his land butts up against the railroad line and he knew they had set fire to his land hoping to run him off. (Oddly enough, in my mind I hear this being said as if from the quote in "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou" "done R U N N O F T"!)
Shade 27 - He tells me that he hurt his back at work from climbing around where he wasn't supposed to.
Shade 28 - At this point I thought his horrible scar was from acid. This night he told me about stopping by a convenience store for gas one night. He went in to pay and saw that the cashier had horrible scars on her arms. He could tell that they were slash marks. He asked her why she cut herself and she said that her uncle had molested her and her parents didn't believe. (Yes, this is beyond horrible; but not the point of my story.) Damien then went on to tell her that he knew people who could help her. He then told me that he had volunteered with some group that worked with family members of people who had committed suicide. At this point, I am thinking how noble and also beginning to wonder why he would be involved in something like this. (But as before being about to turn 40 and still single put true blinders on my eyes and my freaking mind!)
Okay, shade 28 definitely accounts for at least five shades.
So, that brings us to Shade 33 - I drop by his house again and notice that his dog never goes inside that big cage. I asked and he said that he always sleeps on the floor and he just keeps the cage in case the dog wants to go in there.
Shade 34 - At that same time, I look through tons of pictures he has stacked all around his office area. There is a whole stack of him at some sort of rally, demonstration, I'm not really sure what it is. But there are a whole lot of other people there, mostly men, mostly white men. He sees me looking at that stack of pictures and tells me to come outside to see something. I set the pictures down and go outside.
Shade 35, 36, 37 - During this same visit to his house he tells me that he is quitting his job and applying for disability. Then he said, "I want to tell you what really happened the day I got hurt at work." He precedes to explain that he had gotten in to a fight with the co-worker he had previously pulled a knife on and the guy pushed him down a flight of stairs.
Fearing being single and 40 can only blind someone for so long. And while this story doesn't prove it, I have, let's just say, an above average IQ. My internal alarm had been going off as early as shade 12, but I optimistically kept hoping for the best.
After shades 35-37, I decided that I really needed to start looking a little more deeply into this guy.
I Googled every form of his name. I knew his email address and used the part before @ to Google. I knew his nickname. I, also, knew his birth date and address.
So, what new information did I learn from the wonderfully, magical world of Google? Check my next installment of 50 Shades to see what those unlucky 13 shades are.
So freaking hilarious after the fact!!!
ReplyDeleteTHis just gets better and better!
ReplyDelete