Movie Night

I know I've given everyone the impression that every date I've ever had has been horrible.  But, that simply isn't true.  I've had many good dates over the years.  Some of these dates included the old standard of movie night.  I've enjoyed many, many movies over the years with many dates.   I've seen all sorts of movies on dates.  I'm managed to cajole a few dates into going to a chick flick, but mainly I am every guy's dream date when it comes to the movies.  I like action, I like super hero movies, I love sci-fi, I like guy movies.  I'll admit it!

Now, let's see if I can recall some of my more memorable movie nights...

Back in high school a big group of guys and girls went to see that Eddie Murphy movie where he rescued the Dali Lama as a kid or something.  We are just getting into the movie and for some reason it was turned up super loud, ridiculously loud.  We were all complaining among ourselves and all of a sudden my date yells "Turn it down!!!"  And I mean yells it.  Of course, that's when a moment of silence came in the movie.  So, everyone heard him.  I was embarrassed, but they turned the sound down right after!  (As an extra, after the movie we all went to eat at Gondolier's Pizza - you have to have been around Chattanooga for a while to know that name.  As we are driving to the restaurant my date says, "Oh, I love gonorrhea's pizza."  That was good for another serious laugh.)

The next memorable movie date I remember was Earl Goes to Camp.  My date was like 6'4" and probably weighed 150 soaking wet.  Two redneck jerks in ball caps were sitting in front of us and kept making rude comments, throwing popcorn, and spitting their tobaccy in the floor.  I was disgusted and kept making comments towards them.  Naturally, they weighed in at probably 220 each.  They finally gave my date one too many dirty looks and he begged me to shut up so he wouldn't have to fight them.  As soon as the credits rolled he grabbed my hand and drug me to the door.

This wasn't a date, but it is a very memorable movie night.  I remember going to see a lame comedy in the late '80s or early '90s.  We had been waiting in line for a while and when we finally got to the ticket window I said, "One for Casual Sex please."  As the attendant, my friend, and everyone within ear shot cracked up I turned an unbecoming shade of red.  My friend stepped up to the ticket window and said, "I'll have one for the same movie."

I went to see Mission Impossible with  a date who miraculously is on my list of facebook friends.  (Yes, it happens sometimes.  Especially, when you find out you are playing for the same team.  That'll be a future blog.)  We had a good time.  Nothing embarrassing happened.  But, something hilarious occurred.  It was the scene where Tom Cruise is dropping down from the ceiling and he can't make any noise, or cause the temperature to change, or sweat.  So, the screen is completely silent and amazingly the audience was as well.  All of a sudden we hear the sound of flatulence.  My date and I look at each other thinking did Tom Cruise just fart.  You could hear other audience members questioning it.  Then we heard a faint chuckle and it rumbled up towards us.  Eventually, the whole audience was laughing.  Some one had indeed farted!  It was pretty darn funny!

One of my favorite movie night highlights happened during a movie I can't even remember.  We were sitting through the ads waiting for the movie and some guy came in the theater.  He walked down one side of the theater, walked across the very front, and then back up the other side.  When he got to the top he yelled, "Where the hell are you?"  In a moment we heard someone very meekly say "over here."  The whole audience cracked up.

My favorite movie memory is actually about an ex boyfriend's mother.  Now keep in mind, this was a 65+ year old lady.  We took her to see Meet the Fockers.  When we got to the theater she got up to the ticket window first and proceeded to ask for three tickets to see Meet the F*ckers.  Who knew one little vowel made such a difference!