And that's the night the lights went out in Georgia!

I am a strong, intelligent, independent, single, Southern female!  Those of you who know me know that Dixie Carter is one of my heroes!  I love her character, Julia Sugarbaker, from Designing Women so much I often quote her and occasionally channel her when I am fed up with the stupidity of people.  (And let's face it, in today's world there are plenty of opportunities to get fed up with people's stupidity!) 

You may be asking yourself right about now what Dixie Carter has to do with my dating life.  Hang on!  I'm getting there!

Having said I can channel Julia Sugarbaker, let me also share with you that for the first three decades of my life I tried to avoid conflict in romantic relationships at all costs.  I am nearly embarrassed to admit that I dated a guy for three years and we never had a real fight.  Why?  Because I was afraid of upsetting him.  Because I was afraid of being myself.  And mainly, because I was afraid of losing him.  So, guess what happened? 
That's right, we broke up anyway! 

And the moral of that lesson is to always let your inner Dixie Carter/Julia Sugarbaker shine!

At 41 ripe years of age, I see no point in being anyone but myself.  I tend to say what I think and am not afraid of telling you why you are wrong.  I do try to be diplomatic and no matter what I am polite, bless their heart! 

So, last week I received a first message from a new guy on lotsoffishinthesea.com.  Let me share with you our first few messages:

Tuesday's messages:
New guy - "I like your profile."
Me -  "Thanks."  (I just checked my profile and realized my picture was turned sideways.)  "I'm glad you like the sideways picture of me." 
New guy - "Oh you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah to turn your picture."
Me - "Oh great.  I guess I'll go try that."

Notice please that no personal information was shared at all.  By Thursday I assumed I had heard all I was going to from New guy.

Saturday's messages:
New guy - "How is your day going?"
Me - "It's going pretty well.  What about yours?"
New guy - "Good.  I've done a lot of cleaning today.  Cleaned my apartment and car."
Me - "I did some house cleaning today.  I thought about washing my car, but never got around to it."
New guy - "I took my car to one of those where it pulls your car into the wash and people finish it up.  I always go out and inspect it before I leave."
Me- "I use those a lot too, but I don't care enough to inspect it.  I'm so glad we had a nice day."

Perhaps I should have realized here there was going to be a problem!

Saturday's messages continued:
New guy - "Me too."

Okay, that's enough!  I decide to ask some personal questions.

Saturday's messages continued:
Me - "Okay.  I've got five questions for you.  1.  What was your favorite cartoon as a child?  2.  What is your favorite  cartoon as an adult?  3.  How many siblings to you have?  4.  What is your longest relationship?  5.  Why did that relationship end?
My answers:  1.  Hong Kong Phooey  2.  Shrek.  3.  I'm an only  4.  3 years 5.  It ended because I saw us married and he didn't.
New guy - "1. Rocky and Bullwinkle  2.  Ren and Stimpy  3.  5 sisters and 1 brother  4.  7 years 5 months.  5. (Honestly, I don't remember what his answer was!)  I've always been told not to date only children."
Me - "Why would you not want to date an only child?"
New guy - "I've been told that since I come from such a large family I would not relate well to an only child.  They tend to be spoiled and selfish."

Please note how many pithy comments I refrained from making after this statement!

Saturday's messages continue once again:
Me - "Well, if you've been told not to do something I'd make sure I didn't do it.  Just try not to jump off a cliff when someone tells you to do that."
New guy - "Well, I can see you have a real temper and this just isn't going to work."
Me - "You think this is a temper.  Just wait until I go all Julia Sugarbaker on you.  Temper?!  You haven't seen my temper."

Being very calm and rational I immediately blocked him so I can't see anymore of his comments!

Geez!  What a jerk!  Let's face it.  If a guy can't handle me when I'm channeling Mary Jo or Charlene he's sure as heck not going to be able to handle my Julia!

As you can tell my new online dating adventure is off to a rip roaring start!